3 Bank Accounts – Yours, Mine and Ours

06 Jun 2015 12:31 PM

Try this for fun: Toss two boxes of smarties – one big, one small – into the back seat and hope for a peaceful journey.

Not a great way to manage your finances either!

We previously discussed with changing roles and constant competition for access and control – ‘Why are so many fights are about money?’

– a tip to deal with the problem more constructively … 3 Bank Accounts: Yours, Mine and Ours

The advantages

– autonomy

If you are old enough to enter into a marriage or long term relationship, you are old enough to decide how to spend and manage your money – whether you have earned it through the workforce or whether you a stay at home parent (more on this another time).

– security

It is so easy when you know someone has your best interests at heart and they just take care of things – pay the bills on time and manage the investments responsibly. But what if something happened to them. A time of emotional upheaval is hardly a time to learn new skills. This is why I recommend managing your own super and investment accounts as well.

– romance

Such a beautiful pendant – oh I see you bought it on ‘Catch of the Day’ the day before – not so romantic.

– privacy

I don’t want to know how much he spent on his whiskey collection as much as I don’t want him to know how much I spent on my hair.

– working together

This to me is the most important. The joint account is not just for paying the mortgage and the bills – it’s for traveling to Europe and building an infinity pool. It’s your shared dreams.

The disadvantage

-keeping and balancing 3 separate accounts (unless you are a politician, this is really not that difficult)

The alternative

Lump everything together into one account. This typically leads to one person taking control. Being a traditionally male field, this is typically, although not always, the man (even when the woman earns more). This leads to allowances or the person not in control having to ask permission to spend money – pretty demeaning and not conducive to a happy relationship.

Ok, so three accounts sounds like the best option for a happy journey.

‘So I turned around to face the minor war in the back seat, I smiled gently and I said to the child with the smaller smarty box ” darling, just ask your sister to share with you”.

Here comes the next step: How to Have a Peaceful Conversation About Money


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